you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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