Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
