I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I could fuck to npr.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
