.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No stitches, just platelets and will power
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
