Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
