Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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