Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
