and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
