it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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