i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
