so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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