this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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