is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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