First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
