seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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