just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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