WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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