Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
