i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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