i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
