She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think people are normalizing furries
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
