I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
