i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
