Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
