is your mom at the bar?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
