that's an acceptable place to lick
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
