do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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