you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
