I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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