I hate all girls vehemently.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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