also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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