Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
