She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
