I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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