I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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