shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
