well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
