how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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