Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
