We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
