After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
