Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize