Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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