I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
