I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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