I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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