I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
