I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
dude. I can hear the air.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
