piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
