Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i drank out of a bidet.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
