Well douche your snatch and let's go!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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