eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
