please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
