I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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