Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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