I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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