I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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