today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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