make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
